Part and parcel of conversation between me and my bestie, Michelle aka SY.
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Mich SY: In Red
Me: In purple
Mich SY: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Yeah?
Why did you break up with him after being together for so long? Don't you think it's sad?
Erm, yeah, it was sad that we didn't manage to be together after four damn years but I had to do it. I don't want the same terrible thing to happen again.
Don't you think it's wasted? I mean, not to say "wasted" but he is a great guy. He has done so much for you.
Yeah, he definitely is. He never yelled at me throughout these years. At all. The only time he yelled, we're done. It just needed to happen. I was about to leave the city that time and I foresaw that the same damn thing of his insecurity will happen again and again, like a never ending story. You know, the thought of me being unfaithful just because he's insecure kills everything. I was sorry for the way I let it go too but you know, that's the best way.
You know what, the worst thing was, I have been living under the wrong perception. Everyone thought that I was the cruel one who dumped him. In fact, it's just the total opposite. I was unwanted. Haha...
Yeah, that's why. It's the same between me and my boyfriend now. We are so far away from each other and I have to do things to make him feel secured. When you are apart from each other, you just need to take care of his feeling, just so the relationship grows stronger.
However, I think that long-distance might just work for me at the moment. I have been moving a bit these two years.
By the way, do you wish to get someone and how do you plan to do that?
Erm, I don't know , there's nothing much I can do, hahahaha... except to wait for the right him to fall from the sky (God, please be mercy to me :P)
Well, it's nice to have someone to talk to, someone who cares but the thought of having to contribute the same frightens me. Sometimes I seriously think that I don't have the time to care a damn thing about my partner (if I happen to have one now) because life has been crazy enough for myself. I can't imagine if I have to comfort someone while I've just had the worst day of my life. I know, this sounds unfair, relationship is a two-way thing, but it's tiring.
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Conclusion: Maybe I should act dumb. Being too independent freaks people out. Nay, not a good idea at all...
I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck - Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble
Lotsa love to those who love, and to those being loved ... Xx
